This post could get lengthy (for me anyway) as I am not sure when I will really have the time to sit down and finish this story, so I am going to do my best to get it all in this one! I also apologize for flipping back and forth from present and past tense!
July 15th -
this is the day I was scheduled to check in to the hospital. We were originally told to just show up after dinner sometime, which was great, it gave us the day to get things done. Around 1pm we received a call from one of the many specialists on the case and they requested that we get there before 5. Ugh. OK, that threw a kink in things but we were able to make it work. My mom came and took me to the hospital while Lexi was napping.
After arriving at the hospital they got me checked in and I got as settled in as I could. Various drs were in and out of the room, all coming to meet me and tell me their part in the following days surgery.
The anesthesiologist came in and started one of the THREE IVs I would need for the surgery. For someone who "does this everyday" he was really sucked at it. That IV hurt the entire time it was in.
R and Lexi came up after her nap. It was good to see them, Lexi was in to everything and ended up spending the night with my mom that night.
**Found out that while my grandmother was in for a typically routine procedure that she had to be sedated for, she coded. She would never wake up from this**
July 16th -
I was terrified this day. Today was the "big" day. They took me to pre-op around 6am. The parade of doctors from the night before continued - everyone who hadn't been by the night before came in that morning. There were roughly 30 doctors crowded around my room. I am sure the people in the room next to me were thinking "I don't want whatever it is she has!!" It was a little intimidating knowing that all of those doctors were there for me. (but I was glad that they were so prepared for any and all possibilities). In addition to all the doctors for me, there was a separate team of doctors from the NICU to take care of the baby when she was born.
There were many tears from me this morning - I am somewhat embarrassed by this - but I was scared to death. Thankfully, they gave me plenty of good drugs to help me to relax and calm down (I really was a basketcase!)
Once they got me in to the OR, I don't remember a whole lot - there were so many people it was impossible to see anything else in the room. Once they did the epidural for the c-section portion of the surgery the urologist went to work. He had to insert stints into my ureters along with the catheter (not fun, people, not fun - - obviously I didn't feel it at the time, but the pain later was intense).
Then, the doctors performing the c-section went to work and our beautiful baby girl was born at 9:49am, weighing 5 lbs 10oz and 20 inches long.
She was having some trouble breathing and was whisked away by the NICU team after I got to see her for about 2 seconds.
Following her birth, they put me under general anesthetic to complete the surgery. At some point, the stirrup on the table broke or fell or something and my leg dropped - orthopedics was brought in to assess whether or not any damage was done - thankfully everything checked out fine.
I lost a lot of blood (approx. 40% of my total blood volume) during the surgery and required transfusions. This earned me a night in the ICU myself. The three IVs were left in (one in each hand and one in my wrist into the artery) - there was concern of the need for further transfusions, so the IVs were needed just in case. They also left in the epidural, which was hooked up to a pain management pump.
They also allowed me to start pumping and sending the milk to the NICU for Calliana.
**My grandmother was still hanging on at this point, but on a ventilator. My mom was having a very hard time, feeling torn between wanting/needing to be there with me, Lexi and baby and wanting/needing to go to Kansas to be with her family
July 17th -
I was released from the ICU to a regular room. I FINALLY got to go see Calliana in the NICU on the way up to my room. She was so tiny and hooked up to a CP.AP machine to help get the liquid from her lungs and aid breathing. It was scary to see her like that, and my heart still aches.
I got to hold her - the first one in the family to do so - I will never forget that moment when they placed her in my arms.
I spent the day either in my room or in the NICU every chance I got.
They removed the catheter from me this day and gave me 6 hours to urinate. It took just about every minute of those 6 hours and, because of the stints that had been placed (and removed) for the surgery my bladder was spasming - EXCRUCIATING. But the fear of them having to place a catheter again allowed me to complete this task.
They removed the IV that the anesthesiologist had put in my hand - thankfully! That one was still hurthing! They also took out the epidural line.
**My grandmother was taken off the ventilator on this day
July 18th -
They removed the arterial line today - hooray! That one was uncomfortable and I was glad to see it go. This left just one more IV in my hand. I continued to spend as much time in the NICU as I could with Calli. She was taken off of the CP.AP and just was on oxygen at this point. She was being fed through a feeding tube - a combination of the milk I was able to pump and donor milk. She was a little jaundiced and was under the bi.li lights for 2 days.
I was actually feeling far better than I thought I would at this point. The pain was minimal - except for the bladder pain - every time I went to the bathroom was SO painful still. Thankfully as the day went on, it lessened.
I missed Lexi SO much it was a physical ache. It was killing me to be away from her and to only get to see her for bits of time each day.
**My grandmother passed away this afternoon. I knew I would be unable to attend the funeral and that hurt (still does).
July 19th -
Up until this point, Lexi had been with my mom and dad. But, my mom had to leave and go to Kansas to be with her brothers and help make arrangements for my grandmothers funeral and get her affairs in order.
R had been staying at the hospital with me, but would not be able to after this as he was home with Lexi. I spent much of the next two days by myself, which was good in the long run, as I was able to get more rest than I would have otherwise. I again spent as much time in the NICU as I could and the rest of the time was either pumping or sleeping. I started nursing Calli as well, so she was nursing and then they were giving the rest of her feeding via the feeding tube.
July 20 -
More of the same, nursing Calli, sleeping and recovering.
July 21 -
I was released from the hospital. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do is leave the hospital without my baby. I was glad to be out of the hospital, and happy to be home to Lexi - but oh how my heart ached.
July 22-25 - I spent as much time as I could at the hospital with Calli. It was challenging going back and forth and it was hard on Lexi as well. They have rooms in the NICU that we/I was able to spend the night in and I spent two nights there so that Calli could nurse and they could see how she did. If she gained weight and was nursing well, they would let her come home. Thankfully, she nurses like a champ and made the appropriate gains and was allowed to come home on the 25th. Only 9 days in the NICU, not too bad all things considered.
She has been home for about 4 days now. She is still on oxygen, which is a pain, but worth it since she is home and she is on the lowest setting of O2 as well, which is good. The doctors want her on O2 until closer to her due date (Aug. 15) so we have a couple of weeks left to deal with that. She had her 2 week check up yesterday. She is up to 6 lbs 1 oz now - so over her birth weight.
We are settling in well. Lexi is fascinated by her and says "baby" and "sister/sissy" all the time. She 'pets' her head and gives her kisses as well. I think Lexi may be having a little trouble adjusting as she has started throwing fits and is really fighting us at bedtime. I know it was hard on her being away from me (R said she cried for mommy every night). I am hoping that she settles into our new routine soon.
Just a few more pictures: (I can't believe all the blond hair!)
Thank you all for the texts, emails, comments, etc. Your thoughts and prayers are so appreciated!!
July 15th -
this is the day I was scheduled to check in to the hospital. We were originally told to just show up after dinner sometime, which was great, it gave us the day to get things done. Around 1pm we received a call from one of the many specialists on the case and they requested that we get there before 5. Ugh. OK, that threw a kink in things but we were able to make it work. My mom came and took me to the hospital while Lexi was napping.
After arriving at the hospital they got me checked in and I got as settled in as I could. Various drs were in and out of the room, all coming to meet me and tell me their part in the following days surgery.
The anesthesiologist came in and started one of the THREE IVs I would need for the surgery. For someone who "does this everyday" he was really sucked at it. That IV hurt the entire time it was in.
R and Lexi came up after her nap. It was good to see them, Lexi was in to everything and ended up spending the night with my mom that night.
**Found out that while my grandmother was in for a typically routine procedure that she had to be sedated for, she coded. She would never wake up from this**
July 16th -
I was terrified this day. Today was the "big" day. They took me to pre-op around 6am. The parade of doctors from the night before continued - everyone who hadn't been by the night before came in that morning. There were roughly 30 doctors crowded around my room. I am sure the people in the room next to me were thinking "I don't want whatever it is she has!!" It was a little intimidating knowing that all of those doctors were there for me. (but I was glad that they were so prepared for any and all possibilities). In addition to all the doctors for me, there was a separate team of doctors from the NICU to take care of the baby when she was born.
There were many tears from me this morning - I am somewhat embarrassed by this - but I was scared to death. Thankfully, they gave me plenty of good drugs to help me to relax and calm down (I really was a basketcase!)
Once they got me in to the OR, I don't remember a whole lot - there were so many people it was impossible to see anything else in the room. Once they did the epidural for the c-section portion of the surgery the urologist went to work. He had to insert stints into my ureters along with the catheter (not fun, people, not fun - - obviously I didn't feel it at the time, but the pain later was intense).
Then, the doctors performing the c-section went to work and our beautiful baby girl was born at 9:49am, weighing 5 lbs 10oz and 20 inches long.
She was having some trouble breathing and was whisked away by the NICU team after I got to see her for about 2 seconds.
Following her birth, they put me under general anesthetic to complete the surgery. At some point, the stirrup on the table broke or fell or something and my leg dropped - orthopedics was brought in to assess whether or not any damage was done - thankfully everything checked out fine.
I lost a lot of blood (approx. 40% of my total blood volume) during the surgery and required transfusions. This earned me a night in the ICU myself. The three IVs were left in (one in each hand and one in my wrist into the artery) - there was concern of the need for further transfusions, so the IVs were needed just in case. They also left in the epidural, which was hooked up to a pain management pump.
They also allowed me to start pumping and sending the milk to the NICU for Calliana.
**My grandmother was still hanging on at this point, but on a ventilator. My mom was having a very hard time, feeling torn between wanting/needing to be there with me, Lexi and baby and wanting/needing to go to Kansas to be with her family
July 17th -
I was released from the ICU to a regular room. I FINALLY got to go see Calliana in the NICU on the way up to my room. She was so tiny and hooked up to a CP.AP machine to help get the liquid from her lungs and aid breathing. It was scary to see her like that, and my heart still aches.
I spent the day either in my room or in the NICU every chance I got.
They removed the catheter from me this day and gave me 6 hours to urinate. It took just about every minute of those 6 hours and, because of the stints that had been placed (and removed) for the surgery my bladder was spasming - EXCRUCIATING. But the fear of them having to place a catheter again allowed me to complete this task.
They removed the IV that the anesthesiologist had put in my hand - thankfully! That one was still hurthing! They also took out the epidural line.
**My grandmother was taken off the ventilator on this day
July 18th -
They removed the arterial line today - hooray! That one was uncomfortable and I was glad to see it go. This left just one more IV in my hand. I continued to spend as much time in the NICU as I could with Calli. She was taken off of the CP.AP and just was on oxygen at this point. She was being fed through a feeding tube - a combination of the milk I was able to pump and donor milk. She was a little jaundiced and was under the bi.li lights for 2 days.
I was actually feeling far better than I thought I would at this point. The pain was minimal - except for the bladder pain - every time I went to the bathroom was SO painful still. Thankfully as the day went on, it lessened.
I missed Lexi SO much it was a physical ache. It was killing me to be away from her and to only get to see her for bits of time each day.
**My grandmother passed away this afternoon. I knew I would be unable to attend the funeral and that hurt (still does).
July 19th -
Up until this point, Lexi had been with my mom and dad. But, my mom had to leave and go to Kansas to be with her brothers and help make arrangements for my grandmothers funeral and get her affairs in order.
R had been staying at the hospital with me, but would not be able to after this as he was home with Lexi. I spent much of the next two days by myself, which was good in the long run, as I was able to get more rest than I would have otherwise. I again spent as much time in the NICU as I could and the rest of the time was either pumping or sleeping. I started nursing Calli as well, so she was nursing and then they were giving the rest of her feeding via the feeding tube.
July 20 -
More of the same, nursing Calli, sleeping and recovering.
July 21 -
I was released from the hospital. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do is leave the hospital without my baby. I was glad to be out of the hospital, and happy to be home to Lexi - but oh how my heart ached.
July 22-25 - I spent as much time as I could at the hospital with Calli. It was challenging going back and forth and it was hard on Lexi as well. They have rooms in the NICU that we/I was able to spend the night in and I spent two nights there so that Calli could nurse and they could see how she did. If she gained weight and was nursing well, they would let her come home. Thankfully, she nurses like a champ and made the appropriate gains and was allowed to come home on the 25th. Only 9 days in the NICU, not too bad all things considered.
She has been home for about 4 days now. She is still on oxygen, which is a pain, but worth it since she is home and she is on the lowest setting of O2 as well, which is good. The doctors want her on O2 until closer to her due date (Aug. 15) so we have a couple of weeks left to deal with that. She had her 2 week check up yesterday. She is up to 6 lbs 1 oz now - so over her birth weight.
We are settling in well. Lexi is fascinated by her and says "baby" and "sister/sissy" all the time. She 'pets' her head and gives her kisses as well. I think Lexi may be having a little trouble adjusting as she has started throwing fits and is really fighting us at bedtime. I know it was hard on her being away from me (R said she cried for mommy every night). I am hoping that she settles into our new routine soon.
Just a few more pictures: (I can't believe all the blond hair!)
Phew, what an intense, emotional couple of weeks you have had! I'm so glad that you and Callie are okay, but I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. :(
ReplyDeleteShe's so beautiful. I'm glad that everyone is doing well.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the loss of your grandma.
Calliana is just precious and I am so glad to hear she is doing so well. I hope your recovery continues to go well. Your ivs sound like a nightmare to me...yikes. Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. I can't imagine all of those emotions. Congrats again on your new daughter and congrats to the Big Sis!!
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong - just reading through this post, there is a lot you've had to deal with (and been dealing with for a while) and I think you handled it like a pro! Like I mentioned on your last post, I think your grandma was hanging on long enough to know that both you and your daughter were safe and sound. I'm sure you've told me before, but where in Kansas does your family live?
ReplyDeleteMost of my family is in the Wichita area. The rest is up near KC
DeleteReading this post made my heart ache so much. I know its a happy post, since you are home and recovering. Calli is doing so well as well. But just thinking about all that you had to go through. Ugh. Have the docs tried removing her oxygen? Just wondering why she still needs it. Did they even give her a chance off oxygen? Or are her sats still lower than they like? The NICU pics bought horrible flash backs from our time at the NICU. All those lines and tubes. You must have come home with a monitor as well? I hated those monitors...all that noise. Lexi is such a sweetheart. She has also been through so much. Stay strong. Praying for all of you. Also, do visit the page "life after NICU" on facebook. They are an amazing support group and you can post any questions you may have, which all the followers who have been through similar situations can help you with.
ReplyDeleteHere you go: https://www.facebook.com/lifeafterNICU
ReplyDeletewow, there is SO much i want to say. more than anything, i want to tell you how beautiful and strong you are. how much i admire you. and how brave you are, e. calliana is so so pretty and precious. she is one lucky little lady. i pray for you each day and keep you close in my thoughts. lots and lots of love. <3 so happy for you and your family. xoxox
ReplyDeleteWow, I can't imagine those days at the hospital with everything you had going on. You are so incredibly strong. I am so glad that your sweet girl is home with you now. How is she doing? How are YOU doing? She is gorgeous! That hair!! Have been thinking of you often! Hugs!
ReplyDelete