Saturday, May 14, 2011
Dreams
Actually, I should have titled this nightmares. Since getting my BFP I haven't had a whole lot of the vivid dreams I have heard about others having. Until last night - I had a very vivid dream nightmare - I dreamed that I had an early miscarriage - that when we had our first ultrasound they could not find anything. I woke up in a panic and now of course I am worried that this is what will happen (again!) I can't stop thinking of the dream and it is freaking me out. I am out of HPTs so I can't test (I did so much of that after the less than stellar results of the first beta that I am now out of them.) I have really been doing my best to just enjoy the moment and not worry about the 'what ifs' - at least outwardly, apparently subconsciously I am worried about it (but then, who wouldn't be?) My RE said if I wanted to I could come in for a 3rd beta before the u/s. I think I may have to do that, just to put my mind at ease. This has me really freaked out and of course it is Saturday, so I am not sure I will even be able to get ahold of them, so I will have to wait until Monday.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
How scary to have and wake up from a dream like that. Clearly you are thinking about this a lot, and it is weighing on you heavily. I think that a third beta sounds like a fantastic idea. and maybe a massage, or a session with your counselor, if you have one. I can only imagine that the grief of your earlier loss might be surfacing again, but that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you now. Your body is strong. Your baby is growing stronger every day. do you have the circle bloom pregnancy audios?
ReplyDeleteThe waiting game that we got so good at, is here to continue for a while. Keeping mama calm and positive is, i think, the only thing that you can control right now. Easier said than done, yes!
Oh, and I think it would be worth it to cal the clinic. They might be in for a weekend iui or blood draw on another patient... No point in waiting if you are freaking out. Thats why we pay these clinics the big bucks!
If you email with your mailing address, I'll send you a little something that might help with the nerves... foxypopcorn at gmail.
ReplyDeleteAhhh... sis. So sorry you're having these horrid nightmares!! I'm thinking of you and 'embabies... on and that R guy, too!
ReplyDeleteHope those nightmares stop for you! and I agree with Foxy...you should do that 3rd beta...give yourself some peace of mind!
ReplyDeleteI am sure that you have already decided what you are going to do.... but i would vote for you to get the 3rd beta-- just for peace of mind. Hopefully the nightmares have stopped.
ReplyDelete