Even before we got the BFP I knew I wouldn't be telling everyone right away - last time I was pregnant we told everyone and it was SO hard to 'untell' people (particularly when someone who didn't know about the m/c yet would ask how everything was) that I knew I didn't want to go through that again. I decided to wait until I was 12 weeks. Well, that is the day after tomorrow and I am terrified of telling everyone. I know it is silly, but I am afraid this will 'jinx' everything and somehow cause a problem. Yes, I know that telling people will not cause a miscarriage. But I am afraid nonetheless. At this point, aside from you all, only a few key people in my life know about the pregnancy - and I notified a couple friends who I know are also dealing with infertility because I wanted to 'warn' them that I was likely going to put something on FB and I know how much it stings to see that announcement, particularly when it is unexpected. They were all very gracious, which helped because this was a big concern for me.
I know I just need to buck up and tell people - and I will. There are so many confusing feelings now that I have gotten pregnant - I don't know where I 'fit' anymore. Part of me feels guilty still posting on here, like maybe I don't "belong" anymore. Infertility will always be a part of my story and I will never forget what it took to get to this point, and I know that when we decide to try for #2 I will be right back on the treatment path.
Only a couple days to "d-day" or tell day - I just keep telling myself "everything will be fine" - it is my mantra lately.
I say, do whatever makes you happy! You don't owe it to anyone to tell them, so if it is going to be stressful- don't do it! With that said, I am a firm believer in celebrating everyday of a pregnancy. I know, easier said that done, but we all know how hard it can be to arrive at that place.... soak it in- enjoy it- celebrate it! You decide if you want to do that alone with R, or if you want to share it with your friends and family!
ReplyDeleteI've been telling my hubby that if it ever happens again, I won't tell anybody. Ever. They will have to figure it out when I start showing. Lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that my feelings will change, but it is just so terrifying!
I do see where you are coming from, but I'm sure that your friends will understand. It's YOUR TURN! Live it up! :)
Do whatever makes you happy!! You will know when the time is right! =) I'm so excited for you! Also, i gave you the overlord award on my blog.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I do hope that you'll keep writing. It is a strange transition from an infertile blogger to an infertile pregnant blogger. But I'd really miss you!!!
ReplyDeleteI've had a really hard time telling people too, and I don't even have the experience of a loss in my history. I just feel like there is so much more to it than "i'm pregnant". There is everything that came with getting us to this point, but how do you say that?
I've been thinking about Facebook, and am not sure that I'll make an announcement there... maybe just post a picture in december of our new family. we'll see.
good luck dear friend.
I agree with the previous comment- do what makes you happy. You have waited and cried and been though hell to get where you are- so do what ever you need to do, to enjoy this time. Infertility scars us, but it can't be allowed to steal our joy!
ReplyDeleteI know its hard to make announcement, especially when every single day you continue to worry. I would always push the announcement date to "the next u/s" or the "next check up".
ReplyDeleteI never did make an announcement on FB, and won't be doing it in the future either. Just because there are a lot of people on my FB list who are just acquaintances. Instead, past week 13, we would call close friends, or email them. I found it more personal, and I could control who knew and who didn't. But then again, that's just how my hubby and I are I guess.
You have every right to scream it at the top of your lungs, because you so so deserve this!
I can not tell you how much I can relate to your blog. I am 12 weeks this Monday. I so want to tell everyone too..but scared of that miscarriage statistic. I also feel guilty about the posting: but still love this community: I still get support and I get to give advice. I say: let's celebrate our pregnancies this week! I can't wait to hear how everything goes.
ReplyDeleteHugs